racey is a confidence and self-esteem specialist working with mums to provide support enabling them to positively transform their lives. Tracey nurtures mums to embrace the joys of motherhood with confidence and self-belief. She helps mums to practise self care as a priority; maximise their time and work-life balance; nurture good partner/child relationships; manage important life changing events; successfully return to work; and start up and grow a home business. Tracey empowers mums to live the life they want by achieving goals that bring immense fulfilment, confidence, balance and joy. For individual advice you can contact Tracey direct at:
www.greatvine.com/tracey-wall
Speak to me on 0905 675 4680
£1.23/min from a BT landline; calls from mobiles and other networks may vary
Becoming a mum is the most exciting, fulfilling and rewarding role you’ll ever adopt. However, it can be overwhelming, frustrating and, at times, lonely. Here are some invaluable tips to help you confidently maintain your sense of self and the control of your life’s direction.
QUESTION:
I work so hard to satisfy the overwhelming role of being a mum and I’m exhausted! I feel worthless, as everyone else is only concerned with what is best for my baby – but what is best for me?
ANSWER:
Self-care is essential for all mums, no matter how old your children are. If you’re not looking after yourself, you cannot be expected to have the energy and positivity to nurture others. Making self-care a priority can be a challenge but it is vital to your wellbeing and will boost your confidence and self-worth.
Mums tend to disregard self-care for many reasons. Some think their families need them first and foremost, which stops them taking time out for rejuvenation. Others find it difficult to schedule in time, especially when their baby is young. Many mums feel guilty for enjoying life outside of the family, so choose to devote their time solely to their partner and children.
If you deny yourself self-care, you will become exhausted, frustrated and unfulfilled, leaving you feeling under-valued with little self-worth. Such low feelings can affect your relationships with others, which can have an enormous impact on your family life.
Looking after your own needs will essentially invigorate and re-energise you. Take time out to revive your lust for life, such as spending time with friends or enjoying an evening of relaxation.
Allow yourself time to fulfil your own needs: it will increase your self-esteem by recapturing your lost sparkle. Your family will benefit if you look after yourself, as being a happy and fulfilled woman will enable you to be a fun-loving and greatly admired mum.
QUESTION:
I’m receiving so much conflicting advice from my family and friends. How will I ever know what is right for my baby?
ANSWER:
It is common for friends and family to share advice when a new baby arrives, and they consider this to be the best way to support you during a time of immense change. However, receiving so much advice can be confusing, frustrating and upsetting.
Try not to feel judged or criticised, instead listen to the advice and ascertain whether it is valid to you. If it is openly received, you will stand a better chance of making it work for you and your family.
When assessing whether the guidance will benefit your family, retaining confidence and assertiveness is essential. This is your baby and you have the right to decide what to accept and disregard. Don’t carry out advice if it makes you feel uncomfortable or has consequences that concern you. There is little point worrying about advice with which you have no affiliation or whole-heartedly disagree.
Although you may not believe it now, some advice will stay with you forever. You will soon be passing it on to others! Respectfully listen to advice, take from it what works and politely ignore the rest! Enjoy this new adventure by doing what is right for you. You will be a great mum on your own terms: believe in yourself and your abilities to give the best to your baby.
QUESTION:
Before having a family, I was ambitious. I enjoyed a successful career and wonderful lifestyle. I no longer seem to matter. How can I continue to fulfil my ambitions now I’m a mum?
ANSWER:
It is okay to be ambitious and you need not let the arrival of your family prevent you from striving for further achievement. There’s no reason to forget about your aspirations and personal development just because you are a mum.
To continue a successful career as a mum, you need to adopt a positive approach to your work/life balance. In order to satisfy your ambitions whilst juggling family life, it is essential to organise your schedule, manage your time effectively and maintain a clear vision of what you want to achieve. You can then balance your needs alongside those of your family to ensure each aspect of your life balances harmoniously.
Goal setting can help you plan your objectives, whilst motivating you to succeed. It is practical to break down significant goals into manageable tasks, which will provide step-by-step guidance to help you realise its entirety.
To be a happy, fulfilled and confident mum, you must be resilient and attentive to your own needs. Bringing up a family does not mean your needs should be ignored or put on hold until your family has flown the nest. It is possible and acceptable to advance your career, whilst enjoying a wonderful family life.
