Facing the challenge of infertility

arah is a fertility expert who helps people work through the emotions associated with infertility. Having experienced difficulties conceiving herself, she has great empathy for those who are struggling to have a baby. Sarah offers a safe and nurturing environment in which to work through the feelings that infertility brings up. She coaches people to use specialist techniques to help manage and neutralise negative emotions and develop a positive outlook. Sarah believes that inner strength and resilience are some of the best resources available to people facing fertility issues. For individual advice you can contact Sarah direct at:
Speak to me on 0906 194 9840
£1.53/min from a BT landline; calls from mobiles and other networks may vary

The realisation that you cannot easily conceive a baby can be devastating. However modern technology, good self-care and emotional support can help lead you to a happy outcome and a baby in your arms.

I’ve been told I have ‘unexplained infertility’. What can I do?

After medical tests and investigations around 20% of couples are given the news that they have ‘unexplained infertility’. Being told that no reason has been found for why you haven’t conceived can be extremely frustrating. On the one hand it’s good news that nothing seriously wrong has been found, but on the other you haven’t been given any problems or issues that can be solved. This can make you feel powerless and left not knowing what to do next. 
You may want to check how extensive the tests were, as there are many different aspects to fertility health for both the man and the woman that can be looked at. You could ask for a second opinion from another clinic to see if there’s anything that hasn’t been investigated. If it is truly ‘unexplained’ you could research what you can do yourself to boost your fertility naturally with nutrition and complementary therapies, and also take a look at your emotional well-being and stress levels.
Research has shown that increased stress may have a negative effect on fertility. When no medical reason for infertility has been found, you could look at whether you may have any emotional or psychological blocks to conceiving. Have a think about whether any aspects of pregnancy, birth, parenthood and the changes it will bring to your life feel scary or unsafe. This is worth exploring and resolving with an effective technique like EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and a qualified and experienced practitioner like myself can help guide you through the process, which can be a wonderful way of preparing yourself emotionally for pregnancy and parenthood.

IVF didn’t work for us and I don’t know if I can face it again. What should I do?

Deciding what fertility treatment to have and how many times you will attempt it is an extremely personal decision. Talking to your doctor about why IVF didn’t work for you and listening to their recommendations can be very useful and you may wish to explore other treatment options such as donor eggs if they are appropriate for you.
Once you have all of the information you need, the final key to deciding whether to go ahead with more treatment can be good emotional support. It can be extremely difficult to share your fertility struggle with friends and family, especially if they have no personal understanding of the issues. If you can, carefully choose someone to confide in who you feel would provide a much-needed listening ear, shoulder to cry on or practical support and advice.
Another option is to seek support from a professional. Your fertility clinic may have a counsellor they can refer you to, or you may wish to get in touch with a fertility support specialist like myself. Having an impartial and non-biased person to talk to who is also experienced in helping you resolve emotional issues and make decisions can be invaluable. 

We’ve been trying for a baby for 12 months with no luck. Should we see a doctor?

The recommendation is that if you haven’t been using any contraception and have been timing intercourse to the fertile time in your cycle for at least 12 months, then this is the time to go and see your doctor.  Once a woman is 35 or older the advice is to seek medical advice after six months of trying for a baby. 
Don’t be worried about going to see your GP. One in six couples have fertility issues so your doctor will be used to helping people just like you. Both yourself and your partner should go to the appointment if you can. Expect to be asked questions about your menstrual cycle, your lifestyle and general health. Your doctor may then send you for blood tests to check your hormone levels and you may have a scan of your pelvis to look at your ovaries and uterus. Your partner will also have his semen checked. 
Once you have had these initial tests done it may give you an idea why you’re not conceiving or a referral to a fertility specialist may be recommended. It can feel daunting to make that first appointment to discuss your fertility and you may feel disappointed that you need to involve the medical world in such a personal issue. Try to view this appointment as a positive step forward towards your dream of conceiving your baby and congratulate yourself on taking action.