An early years expert explains how to build toddler social skills for babies born at the start of the pandemic.
Babies who were born at the start of the pandemic will now be reaching toddler age. But, after two years of restrictions, these little ones won’t have had much chance to socialise with other babies and toddlers – which is a crucial part of early years development.
So what can parents do to make sure their toddlers are socially confident? Here, Laura House, Education Lead at childminding experts tiney, shares her top tips on how to boost your toddler’s confidence.
1. Model pretend play with your toddler
Developing language skills is a crucial part of a toddler’s education and socialisation – and there are lots of things you can do to help nurture these skills. Turn-taking games that require listening in order to develop communication and language are a useful tool, because they mirror the turn-taking that happens in conversations.
For example, taking turns to roll a ball to each other – with the adult clearly articulating and repeating “one, two, three, GO!” each time – will help your toddler learn to mirror, practise and understand social cues. Other games – such as Simon Says or pretending to call your toddler on a toy telephone – are also fun ways to interact and develop communication and language through play.
But if this doesn’t come naturally to you, don’t worry – there’s a huge amount your little one can learn from watching you and imitating what they see at home. A toddler playing at sweeping the floor, ‘folding’ the laundry or helping to lay the table is learning important skills about independence, respect for their environment, and how everyone plays their part.
2. Play games which develop communication, language and social skills
Developing language skills is a crucial part of a toddler’s education and socialisation, and there are lots of things parents and caregivers can do to help nurture these skills. Turn-taking games that require listening in order to develop communication and language are a useful tool, because they mirror the turn-taking that happens in conversations.
For example, taking turns to roll a ball to each other – with the adult clearly articulating and repeating “one, two, three, GO!” each time – will help your toddler learn to mirror, practise and understand social cues. Other games – such as Simon Says or pretending to call your toddler on a toy telephone – are also fun ways to interact and develop communication and language through play.
Read more about the benefits of play-based learning.
3. Foster a warm, trusting relationship with your toddler
It’s really important that toddlers build trusting relationships with responsive caregivers. Responsive interactions with adults help to shape children’s brains and strengthen the neurological pathways which form the foundations of future social skills. A key way to do this is through ‘serve and return’ interactions. A child will ‘serve’ by reaching out for interaction with some kind of expression – be that physical, vocal or facial.
An adult or parent can then ‘return the serve’ by speaking back or interacting with the child in a clear and attentive way. These responsive back-and-forth exchanges help build toddlers’ confidence and trust, and teaches them that their voice matters. Being aware of what captures your child’s attention, sharing their focus and talking and listening to your child all make a huge difference and will lay the building blocks for future development.
4. Support your toddler to name their feelings
Helping toddlers to name their feelings is a crucial part of social development. It’s amazing how much children pick up from the adults around them. No matter how much you’ve tried to protect them from it, it’s inevitable that they’ll notice if you’re feeling stressed or anxious. But we can use these feelings to teach our children about self-awareness and the normality of experiencing a range of feelings.
Narrating your own feelings is a great first step: “Right now I am feeling very tired and I need to take a rest. Shall we have some quiet time?” Or ask your toddler, “I can tell you’re feeling frustrated as we’ve been indoors for so long. Shall we play a jumping game so we can move our bodies?” You could also try drawing or using certain colours to link feelings to descriptions. Make it fun!
There are also many ways to help your child identify how they’re feeling. This might be through drawing or using certain colours to link feelings to descriptions (try searching for the ‘Colour Monster’ for good exercises on this). And there are some great books that can help as well. I’d recommend The Bad Tempered Ladybird, Where the Wild Things Are and No Matter What.
5. Introduce a small new thing every day
Making sure little ones are experiencing new perspectives regularly is very important because it helps develop their resilience when confronted with something unfamiliar. Try and find one thing each day that they haven’t come across before; it can be something small – such as inviting them to see something familiar in a different way. ‘Look at all the different shapes of these apples! Where are the seeds?’ ‘We usually walk to the shop that way – let’s go a different way today, I wonder what we’ll find?’
You could also introduce new textures – add shaving foam to paint to make it fluffy like a cloud, squeeze a drop of essential oil into the bath, or put on different music at breakfast time. Anything that will remind them (and us!) that the world is full of exciting things to discover. It doesn’t matter how small it is, what’s vital is the variety to help build toddler social skills.
6. Encourage independence
Constantly hovering over a child is not a good way to enhance their social skills or confidence – especially after the pandemic. Instead, young children can learn important lessons about emotional self-regulation from trying – and even sometimes failing – to do something on their own.
That way, they will really enjoy the satisfaction of achieving something. Also, allowing a child to partake in solo imaginative play sessions with toys allows them to take on the role of different characters and personas, which will in turn help them learn to empathise with the experiences and perspectives of others. This will in turn enable them to socialise better with other little ones.
7. Learn to say no
While it may be tempting to give in to your child – especially when they’re mid tantrum – to give yourself an easy life; in the long run, this will actually do more harm than good. Children who have never been told ‘no’ will struggle as a result and it will undermine their confidence because the real world doesn’t work that way.
In order to be truly empathetic, it’s important for kids to feel a range of emotions, including frustration and disappointment. They also need to understand that other people have feelings that need to be respected. The earlier children can learn conflict resolution skills, the better placed they are for future confidence and appropriate social skills.
8. Praise effort over outcome
Rewarding children for their achievements is great, but it’s also important to let them know you’re proud of their efforts regardless of the outcome. Children who are only praised when they achieve something great will see anything else as failure, which will ultimately impact their confidence and social skills.
Instilling confidence in a child isn’t about just praising them when they achieve something they’re excited about – it’s about making them feel good about themselves even when they don’t. Giving your toddler praise when they share with a sibling, show kindness or try hard for something will help give them a sense of self worth whether they “win” or not.
Read More:
- 8 Top Tips for Sustainable Weaning
- How to Help Your Toddler Settle in at Nursery
- Car Seat Safety: Keeping Baby Safe on the Move
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